Decisions, decisions...

Just when I think life is going smoothly, something always becomes the bump in the road. I had a metamorphisis if you will, about my life. For the first time, I'm feeling as if I might have more control over it than I thought possible. The bonds that have been holding me captive for the past four years are slowly slipping away. I don't want to let them go though. For they portray comfort and sameness in my life. Gave me a reason to not move forward. It doesn't matter anymore if I don't end up where I was hoping to go as long as I end up there in the end. I don't need what I thought I needed, I only need me.

Another day, another thought...

I've been extremenly restless as of late. Don't know why though. Is it because I am once again going through that horrible monthly mood time or just becoming more settled in taking what I have in life and not expecting any more? I need to write more. I've been neglectful of late with my muse and my sense of wonder at the directions my mind takes me sometimes. I really don't like feeling this way..empty..restless..alone...

I am soooo pissed off....

I am so angry at this moment. I've been holding in so much anger over the past three months about my boss and the way he does things in our warehouse. Today was the last straw. I got fed up with his so called jokes and told him to "Kiss my ass". Granted I shouldn't have said that but dammit my job is important to me. He treats it as if it is soo dam easy and of no consequence. Well let's just see if he gets things screwed up or not trying to prepare my records to go out. I've had enough...

Hold me now...

Hold me now for I may disappear in a puff of smoke only to be fondly remembered in your dreams of the past not to be mixed with the future. Hold me now for I need comfort, not coldness I see in many eyes, but warmth of a dream of closeness and intimacy that is so longed for in my dreams as I lie alone and unheld .....

Days are passing...

I haven't written in here for so long. I must be running on even keel lately. Not much has been happening in my life except the usual. Just living. I hurt my shoulder at work (rotator cuff) so am on light duty which means no lifting boxes or moving (a major portion of my job) and just look for records as one of the guys help me. I was hoping it would heal by itself but it still bothers me a little. Maybe by time I go back to doc's on Tuesday, it will be fine. My ankles stay swollen from the constant walking on concrete but such is life. I did get a NEW washer for Mother's Day from my daughter and her boyfriend. Life is looking pretty good it seems after all. I'm so easily pleased : ) Later....