Sunday, December 30, 2007
Kidlet is back from Oklahoma. Went and fetched her today. I'm tired and sore as well. I decided to move furniture around Friday night by myself. Remind me next time to hire someone...haha.
I have to work tomorrow but off on New Year's Day. I hope everyone has a happy New Year!!!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Friday, September 07, 2007
There are a few people out there that find themselves in a point of their life where they see no options. No way out. No end of the rainbow. During these times it's hard to dig yourself out of the black bottomless hole you find yourself in. Some drink. Some use drugs. Some just try to end it all. For good. I reached an epiphany during a time in my life when all went black. I swore no matter how my life went from then on, it would never end in that black hole again. So far, I've managed to hang on to edge and just scream once in a while. Anyway..before I started rambling, I was thinking about a friend of mine. I haven't told him this. I may not. The reason I like him so much is because he knows the quiet desperation when you reach that point in your life. He KNOWS. He also, like me, dug himself out and has managed to hang on. A connection if you will. Kindred souls both trying to either pretend life is always fabulous or convincing themselves it really is. I just know he makes me laugh and I need that a lot sometimes. A whole lot. I hope he stays my friend for many years to come. He just doesn't know what that laughter means to me. He really doesn't.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
I can't be all things to you.
In being all things to you, I lose sight of me.
I can't be what you want.
I can't give up my independence.
In losing my independence, I lose my sense of self.
I can't be what you want.
I can't be the love of your life.
I don't feel love. I don't want to care. I can't.
Don't ask me to be what you want.
Don't ask me to be what you need.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
On the job thing; I decided to stick it out where I am for right now and see what happens in OCT. Word is everyone will get a raise then and I will be up for a 1.00 more an hour. If that happens, I think I can live with it. Everyone is jealous because no matter what happens to the company, as long as we have records there, I have a job. Besides the Canon side of the company, I have the most secure job. I guess I can hang with it for a bit longer right? I am still employed and that's a good thing. It was nice though, knowing someone else out there thought I was worth hiring too.
Trying to get things together for Vicky's dental surgery. Have to call the hospital tomorrow afternoon to find out what time she goes in on Monday. I do know she is the first one in line but not sure what exact time will be. I'll keep you posted.
I think I'm going to take a hot shower, lay in bed, and just veggie out...Peace!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
I'm sort of all set for job interview tomorrow. I think. Found out today though, that they plan on giving raises in October where I am now and also, if they shut most everything down, my job is still secure as long as we have records at the facility. Changing jobs is such a hard choice sometimes. So many pros and cons for staying or going. Part of me wants to stay because I do like my job. A lot. I'll go see what the woman has to say tomorrow and make my decision then. Sighs. I dislike change.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
I've met a man online. He seems like a really nice guy. We talk quite a bit on the phone. I wonder though what we do have in common. His choice of reading material, music, diet, and lifestyle is so much different than my own. How do you hope to get along when you are that different? I know sometimes opposites attract but I have a few misgivings. I guess time will tell especially if we ever meet in person, right? Hard to believe I am letting anyone get close to me. Haven't done that in a long time.
I think I will just let things go for now and try not to overthink it all. Who knows? I sure don't...
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
|What color is your soul painted?|
Your soul is painted the color yellow, which embodies the characteristics of joy, happiness, optimism, idealism, gold, hope, liberalism, sociability, friendship, death, courage, intellect, confidence, communication, travel, movement, attraction, persuasion, and charm. Yellow is the color of the element Air, and symbolizes the sun, grain, and the power of thought.
Quizzes and Personality Tests
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
I've been busy updating my resume and looking for local jobs online. I am taking the day off on Wednesday to go to Waco and search for a new job. My job is becoming too slow, too unsure about it's future, and I'm tired of everything in the world rising in price except my wage. I hate to leave this job because I really do like it. I pray I find one I like just as well.
Kidlet is doing good. Still staying close to Mommy and wanting me to come pick her up immediately after I get off work. As if I wouldn't..haha. School starts Aug. 27th and that is a relief to me. Reduced sitter time and money. Of course, sitter might not be too happy about it. : )
I'll keep things posted about my job hunt. I hate interviewing!!
Friday, August 03, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
You are The Moon
Hope, expectation, bright promises.
The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent - you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.
The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius, and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks, and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings, and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if have any past mental problems, you must be viligant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause you irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions, and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.
What Tarot Card are you?
Take the Test to find out.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
On a more down note, I'm depressed because I'm broke. I have no kidlet around. I can't go anywhere and do anything because I'm broke. I'm whining! Sue me!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Saturday, June 23, 2007
I don't know 7 people either...hahaha
Here's the rules:Each player starts with 7 random facts about themselves on their own Blog. People who are tagged need to blog 7 facts about themselves and post the rules as well. At the end of your blog list 7 people you are tagging. Let them know that they are tagged by leaving them a comment. So, here goes............
1. I am a dark chocolate fanatic. I always keep Dark Chocolate Kisses on hand!
2. I want to be married. I miss being married.
3. I want to win the lottery only I tend to forget to buy the tickets to do so.
4. I want to be a librarian so I can read at any time.
5. I wish to fit back into my size 8 jeans.
6. I wish I could write as well as some people do on their blogs.
7. I wish I knew more people to tag.
2DollarProductions...I am tagging you. I don't know who else to do. : )
SweetTea ...if you read this, you are elected also. Have fun!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Things that are going on in my life:
1.) My boss goes to his new job on Monday. He doesn't actually start the new job till Tuesday so it's all up in the air as to how he will like it and if he will really quit at our workplace. (I'll keep you posted)
2.) I'm still waiting for the replacement AC Compressor to come in. I thought it would be here by today so that I could take truck to shop on Tuesday. Cross your fingers it comes in on Monday.
3.) I really hate summer. Why? Because I have to pay a sitter twice as much to watch the kidlet and that takes a chunk out of my paycheck. We don't need food, nope, not us.
4.) I don't like the fact that if my boss quits, I'll lose my vacation I was planning on having while kidlet was in Oklahoma. Not fair.
5.) I'm moody, can't you tell? : )
Monday, June 11, 2007
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Kidlet is going to Oklahoma on June 30th to July 14th. Yay me! I'll be broke but I'll get a break for a bit.
I have my parts for my AC stuff on pickup. Waiting on a friend to send me money for the labor so I'll have AC this summer! It's horribly hot and humid out there already, I don't think I would make it this summer without AC in truck too.
I'm going to hide my credit cards and just pay cash for everything for the rest of the year. I really hate living paycheck to paycheck sometimes.
Job keeps laying people off and I think we may not be open by the end of the year. If we are, I would be very surprised. There are a few jobs in this town but not very many. Especially not jobs where I can work the hours I do now. Sighs.
Legs have been really hurting me lately.
The less I eat, the more I gain.
I am still alive! That's a good thing, right? : )
Monday, June 04, 2007
1. What time did you get up this morning? 5:50 am.
2. Diamonds or pearls? I don't wear any jewerly and if I do, it is pierced earrings. I prefer diamonds over pearls though.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? "Shrek III"
4. What is your favorite TV show? "Law and Order" (any of them)
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Weekdays - Toast at 6:30 am, Cereal at 10:00 am at work. Weekend - Toast and Ice Tea. Lots of Ice Tea.
6. What is your middle name? I hate this question. I don't like my middle name at all. It's a variation of the name Lucille only my Mother in all her wisdom named me Cile.
7.What food do you dislike? Veggies. Ha. Ha.
8. Favorite thing to cook? BBQ
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Don't really have one. I have a mix of songs I made myself that I listen to a lot. Two favorite songs are Dido-White Flag and Sarah Mclachlan-In the arms of an Angel.
10.What kind of car do you drive? Mazda B2200 pickup.
11. Favorite sandwich? Subs--preferably with turkey, lettuce, tomato, and pickles.
12. What characteristic do you despise? Lack of compassion.
13. Favorite item of clothing? We are suppose to wear clothes? : )
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Ireland or Wales.
15. What color is your bathroom? Cream
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Jeans..any that fit and make my ass look good.
17. Where would you retire to? Up on a mountain far away from people.
18. What was your most recent memorable birthday? It's been so long since I had a good one, I don't know.
19. Favorite sport to watch? Football
20. Farthest place you are sending this? No idea.
21. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? No idea.
22. Person you expect to get this back from first? No clue.
24. When is your birthday? April 26th, 1962.
25. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning --I love watching the sun come up. Once it goes down, I'm sleepy.
26. What is your shoe size? 9
27. Pets? No, does a kid count? : )
28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? Nothing new in my life.
29. What did you want to be when you were little? A social worker.
30. How are you today? It's Monday - it's not suppose to be good.
31. What is your favorite candy? Dark chocolate Kisses.
32. What is your favorite flower? Roses of any color.
33. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Thursday, June 7th. I am taking the day off work.
34. What church do you attend? None currently.
33. What is your full name? Need to know basis..if you don't know me, you don't need to know.
34. What are you listening to right now? TV--kidlet is watching something, I don't know what.
36. Do you wish on stars? Yes
37. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Yellow--seems like a happy color.
38. How is the weather right now? Pretty darn hot.
39. Last person you spoke to on the phone? A friend from Florida.
40. Do you like the person who sent this to you? No one sent it, I snitched it.
41. Favorite soft drink? Pepsi
42. Favorite restaurant? LaFeista and Red Lobster.
43. Hair color? Brown
44. Sibling? Two sisters but do I have to claim one of them?
45. Favorite month of the year? April
46. What was your favorite toy as a child? My fishing poles and books.
47. Summer or winter? Summer
48. Hugs or kisses? Kisses
49. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
50. Do you want your friends to email you back? Not applicable.
51. What is under your bed? Nothing. I hate clutter under a bed.
52. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Woman I've known for about 19 yrs.
53. What did you do last night? Watched TV and tried not to think of my hurting back.
54. Favorite smell? Cinnamon and chocolate--not necessarily in that order.
55. What are you afraid of? Huge furry spiders. I hate them.
56. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? Buttered with the good stuff and little salt.
57. How many keys on your key ring? Five
58. How many years at your current job? 4 and a half.
59. Favorite day of the week? Friday
60. How many towns have you lived in? Umm, too many to count
61. Do you make friends easily? No.
62. How many people will you be sending this to? I won't, they'll have to find it here.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
As for my husband, I wish I knew where our life together would've taken us. We were married for only two years before he died. Just enough time to have a daughter but not enough time to really know what being married felt like for us both. He was ten years older than I and more settled in his life. I was his first marriage. I was 18 and he was 28. Amazing, isn't it? I think about him every time I have a birthday, knowing he would've been 55 to my 45 this year. I sometimes miss him and what we could've had together so much. Sighs.
I wish I knew what my future held for me. I want to be married again. I don't want to spend the rest of my years just being a Mother. I would like to be a lover, a friend, and a companion to someone. Who knows what God has in store for me? I sure don't. I truly don't.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Tomorrow we are going to see Shrek III. Lauren has volunteered to go with us before she has to head to work. I'm looking forward to it. : )
Friday, May 18, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
I know I'm not the most exciting person around. I work. I raise my daughter. I live my life. That's it. I don't seek out men online. In fact, I won't IM them. I do talk to a few on a regular basis but we've talk about everything but sex. It's an online friendship. They listen when I need to rant, I listen when they need to rant. They ask about my day, I ask about theirs. I never feel uncomfortable talking to them. That list is very small though because it is so hard to find men such as these. Single men whom want nothing from you but your time. Maybe it's just me, as I said. Maybe.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Friday, May 04, 2007
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Visions of purple and orange clouds flare brightly across the horizon from the last bright rays of the sun as it sinks slowly beyond sight. One by one stars come out into view. Brightly shining as they reflect the sun's light off their surfaces. Fireflies flit off and on across the field of flowers gently blowing in the wind. It seems an almost magical time. Breezes blowing softly upon your face as you lay in the field gazing up at the stars. Watching the lights from the fireflies flickering off and on and allowing your mind to wander. To dream. To envision. Look quickly, for there goes a falling star. Make a wish. Keep it close to your heart. And gently sigh, as it fades out of sight.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Personally, I quit looking. For younger, for older, for any man. No one is going to want a woman with a child such as mine. One whom I am not sure won't always be living with me. I can't go anywhere on the spur of the moment. My mentality is no longer that as a sex object but as only a MOM. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I am no longer here for me, I am here for her. Do I resent it? Sometimes. Then I say to myself, I'm not losing me. I'm gaining another version of me.
I just hope that most of these unhappy people online find their happiness. If they don't, learn to accept what is there and make the most of it or change it. It's up to us in the long run anyway, right?
Monday, April 09, 2007
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Friday, March 02, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Friday, January 12, 2007
Monday, January 08, 2007
Saturday, January 06, 2007
You don't know me until you've take my stresses as your own
You don't know me until you've held my child in your arms
You don't know me until you've paid my bills
You don't know me until you've laid awake at night worrying
You don't know me until you've felt my heartache from lost loves
You don't know me until you've feel as alone as I feel