If I were to disappear...

If I were to disappear tomorrow, would anyone notice I was gone? If I were to stop caring, would anyone notice I cared at all? If I stopped talking, would anyone notice I even once had something to say? If I no longer exist...would I have made an impression when I was here?

Really strange...

This has been a really strange year for me in some ways. I've either become accustomed to living alone and no longer worry about if someone finds me attractive, witty, or desirable or I am just deluding myself. My oldest got married so now she is officially "not my problem" not that she has been in a long time. Well, she was at age 16, but she has vastly improved in her nature. I would like to think we are good friends as well as mother-daughter. I've been trying to decide which direction I want my life to go next year. The on again off again online friendship I've had for close to five years with someone is coming to a close completely. Where I would once cry about it, I can now safely just sigh and say, "Oh well, such is life". I've been debating about whether to keep AOL or not again. I'm becoming disallusioned with it or maybe I'm outgrowing it, I don't know. Seems to me too many other things are going on in my mind and space that I just don't have time for much of anything anymore. Or I am becoming lazy. Take your pick. Friends that I thought were friends, don't keep in touch. New friends I hoped would be friends, don't keep in touch. No one has time for anyone anymore. I don't have time to be the only one that tries to keep in touch. Friendship is two-sided, not one-sided. I've had enough of being the only side....

Changes...

A lot has been happening lately here. My oldest got married this past weekend. I am so happy it all went without a hitch. No major mishaps nor tears of frustration because something didn't go "just so" for her. She planned an excellent wedding and reception party. I didn't know my child was so talented : ) It was also a sad time for me because I knew she wanted her father to be there and he wasn't alive to do so. His father walked her down the aisle and I know that brought many joyous thoughts to her. Not the same but still all good. I'm back at work now, vacation time is over and I can ask myself, "Am I having fun yet"?

Hurricane Katrina...

I've been reading all the news about Hurricane Katrina and the plight of all those poor people down in Louisiana. Everyday a new story just brings tears to my eyes about the suffering they are going through. I cry at night because I am helpless to help due to just trying to survive myself. I urge anyone that can help them, to help. Be it in prayers, money, food, clothing, or whatever small part you can give. Let's not be a country to ignores those less fortunate but a country who rallies in the wake of disaster. Sighs. More tears.