Journeys..

I've been rereading my blogging entries for the year and I notice a trend of moodiness in there sometimes. This year is coming to a close and all in all, I guess, I can say it's been an okay year. I've lost my ability to write at times but then I wonder, do I just write when I'm depressed? If I'm not writing does this mean I am not depressed? A quandary for sure. I do know that I am changing inside, for the better I think. Trying to become closer to God and less dependent on the things that aren't relevant. I have no clue what the year 2006 will bring. Good things, bad things. I will still in all my power try to remain positive. Write more in here. And dang it, lose some of this gut that grew this year for some reason!!! Happy New Year!!

It came, it went...

Christmas has passed for another year. Time is flying by so quickly these days. I've not done things I've wanted to do, accomplished goals I may have set, nor found the happiness I need to have but all in all it hasn't been a bad year. I have a new Grandson, niece, and nephew...one of my daughters got married, and I made a life change decision that seems to be working for me so far... 2006 is around the corner and I'm ready. For the New Year and new beginnings... Happy New Year!

Holidays, tears, and laughter...

Well, two more days and Christmas will be upon us. I truly get depressed this time of year but I try to hide it behind a facade of good cheer to those around me. I have many things I am blessed with in life but it seems to be the things I am not that I dwell upon the most. I am fortunate to be spending my Christmas Day with my oldest at her house so at least I won't spend the day alone with just the kid. I will try not to dwell too much on the fact that I am alone in my life..sighs. Okay, enough maudlin. Whining time is over. Thank you God for helping me to find friends with whom I needed at the time I needed them and for losing friends that weren't really my friends and did more harm than good. God Bless everyone...

Rant day...

I have elected this day to be a rant day!! I am soooo mad about the way some things are at work. My "boss" and I use this term lightly, did positively absolutely NOTHING today and got paid for it!! To make matters worse, one of our warehouse workers arrived late and spend the day doing absolutely NOTHING with him! I got to work at 7:45 and did not hardly slow down till I punched out at 5pm. Did I say something to those in the know? You bet I did! I know some days you just want to do absolutely nothing but he tends to do those days most everyday. Thinks that if he works for two hours he should be patted on the back and praised. HELLO!!! I work 8 non-stop hours and no one praises me! The biggest complaint from him that really gets me is when he complains he is now only allowed to get 40 hrs a week with no overtime. I have two hours of overtime so far this week (I know how to clock in early but then, I start work when I do that) and the fact that he has none. Thinks no one should have any overtime if he can't get it. HA! Let me get to work at 8am, stand outside for an hour drinking coffee and smoking with the boys, wander around till 10am, take my 20 (suppose to be 10) minute break..etc...I'm sure you get the idea. Anyway, something needs to be done soon and if it isn't, I'm staging a mutiny!! (As if) Now if I could just get rid of this major headache from today's stress I would feel great!!!!

Movies and time well spent...

I actually got out of the house today to go watch a movie ALONE! Actually I was suppose to go see "Harry Potter" with the oldest but she didn't feel well so we are putting it off. Instead I went to see, "The Chronicles of Narnia". I've read the whole series of books on that story (which I love) so seeing the movie was just icing on the cake for me. It was great! I liked it so much I would even pay to see it again. Now if I can just figure out where I put those books....

As one goes through life they realize sometimes that dreams won't always be answered and what they thought their life would be like, isn't. They learn to make do. To survive. Or to just cry sometimes....

I know they mean well...

I've been getting "ragged" on a lot lately about finding a new job that offers health insurance instead of the one job I have that doesn't but I like it. Why can't these helpful men see just how hard it would be for me to move? First I would have to find a competent sitter because my child is mentally challenged and leaving her with just anyone won't do it. After I find a sitter, I have to find the job. It doesn't do me any good to find the job first because if I don't have the sitter, I have no job. Relocation: this is a small small town so finding a good job means moving. Excuse me, are you willing to fork over about 2,000 it would take for me to pack up, move, rent a new place, set up utilities, plus survive until the new job starts? Don't get me wrong, I know they all mean well and I do appreciate it but they truly have no clue what moving would be for me. My child does well in her school here. Uprooting her would be traumatic to some degree I am sure. She knows the teacher, the kids, and she has her routine. Maybe after she is out of school I can consider changing occupations, but until then, unless you want to put us up for a few months until I get settled, please be my friend and just listen to me whine without trying to fix it. I love you for trying though... : )