It's a PMS kinda day....sighs...

I am moody today. Feeling melancholy, alone, all the usual bs that goes with these moods. I miss my friend so darn much that I used to talk to. Just seeing his name online made me smile. Amazing how you can meet people online and not ever meet them in real life and yet, they mean so much to you. Sometimes, I just feel so alone....

Happy Birthday to me!

Sometimes, its just too funny...

Some people just have to make me laugh. You talk to them online. Don't see them for a week. Inquire as to their existence and YOU do it wrong. I don't need anyone to entertain me. Disappear for a month, a year, forever, it matters not to me. Just don't assume you mean more to me or that you are so irrestible I can't do without knowing where you are or what you are doing. Some people over estimate their worth and others, sighs, never value themselves enough. It's just too funny sometimes...

Days I hate...

When you are so tired that everything just gets on your nerves.
When you realize the friend you lost, isn't coming back.
When your legs hurt so much you can barely walk.
When you ask yourself, is this all there is?
When you feel really alone....

I lost something very important today...

I lost a friend. He didn't die. Didn't leave town. Just disappeared out of my life due to circumstances beyond his control. I didn't realize how much it would hurt. I should've known though. I am too sensitive to people and care too much. I have another friend that I never see anymore online. I know he is still alive, I get his emails. I miss him too. I hate when life changes on you. Happy as a clam one day and BAM! something just blows it all to shite. I'm seriously considering going off AOL. I keep getting hurt. People disappear on me. Walk away. Get lives. Me, I am stuck in a rut. Yea yea, pity me time, right? Still doesn't stop the tears from falling thinking about my friend I will never see again. Or the ones I rarely see anymore but know they are still around...somewhere. Just makes me realize how alone I truly am. Sighs.