In your eyes...

I will see your soul when I look into your eyes. A deep abiding comfort. Mirrors shining brightly upon my face as I see the laughter shining. Will the comfort be part of the whole? Meant for me? Or will they only shine temporarily as they are sidetracked to another place or time?

Timeless...

My youngest turned 17 today. It was a good birthday for her, I think. Her sister surprised her with a cake at school, balloons, and movies. I took her out to eat and to a movie at the theatre on Sunday. She seemed pleased. I now have balloons floating around my ceiling : ) At least I am lucky in one aspect. She will never ask for a car for her birthday! : )

I guess I should be dancing in the streets...

I've not written much in here lately. Does this mean my life is going well? No major bumbs or blurbs or have I just resigned myself to staying single thus getting rid of the idea that I need someone in my life to write and rant about? I haven't forgotten you blog, I just have better things on my mind right now...

A mountain...

Life is like a mountain sometimes. Majestic. Beautiful. Difficult. Everchanging. Yes, everchanging. Have you ever walked up a mountain before a storm? Everything is pristine. Perfect. Until. The water rushing down the sides from clouds overflowing with moisture dropping from the sky, threatens to change the view as rocks fall, trees bend, and erosion sets in. Much like life. We grow, we change, we try to stay the same, and yet, life flows over us. Washing our time away, changing our days, and creating either havoc or calm. Life is like a mountain sometimes.

Life is good...or is it just bearable?

Things are going okay lately. No self recriminations. No crying jags. I'm even working on my tan. Of course the dang weather can't make up its mind if it is going to be hot or cold so the nose stuff starts up again, but then, it can't all be perfect, can it?

What's with the songs??

Okay, I cheat. Some days I can't think of a thing to say and other days I want to say so much that I am afraid once I start I won't stop and then the tears will start to flow and I will be pissed off at myself for letting things get to me... AGAIN!

How's The World Treating You...

(James Taylor & Alison Krauss)
I've had nothing but sorrow
Since you said we were through
There's no hope for tomorrow
How's the world treating you

Every sweet thing that matters
Has been broken in two
All my dreams have been shattered
How's the world treating you

Got no plans for next Sunday
Got no plans for today
Every day is blue Monday
Every day you're away

Tho' our pathways have parted
To your memory I'm true
Guess I'll stay broken hearted
How's the world treating you
Do you wonder about me
Like I'm hoping you do

Are you lonesome without me
Have you found someone new
Are you burning and yearning
Do you ever get blue
Do you think of returning
How's the world treating you

Martina Mcbride - God's Will

I met God's Will on a Halloween night
He was dressed as a bag of leaves
It hid the braces on his legs at first
His smile was as bright as the August sun
When he looked at me
As he struggled down the driveway, it almost
Made me hurt
Will don't walk too good
Will don't talk too good
He won't do the things that the other kids do,
In our neighborhood
I've been searchin', wonderin', thinkin'
Lost and lookin' all my life
I've been wounded, jaded, loved and hated
I've wrestled wrong and right
He was a boy without a father
And his mother's miracle
I've been readin', writin', prayin', fightin'
I guess I would be still
Yeah, that was until
I knew God's will
Will's mom had to work two jobs
We'd watch him when she had to work late
And we'd all laugh like I hadn't laughed
Since I don't know when
Hey Jude was his favorite song
At dinner he'd ask to pray
And then he'd pray for everybody in the world but him
I've been searchin', wonderin', thinkin'
Lost and lookin' all my life
I've been wounded, jaded, loved and hated
I've wrestled wrong and right
He was a boy without a father
And his mother's miracle
I've been readin', writin', prayin', fightin'
I guess I would be still
Yeah, that was until
I knew God's will
Before they moved to California
His mother said, "they didn't think he'd live"
And she said, "each day that I have him, well, it's jut another
gift"
And I never got to tell her, that the boy showed me the truth
In crayon red, on notebook paper, he'd written, "me and God love
you"
I've been searchin', prayin', wounded, jaded
I guess I would be still
Yeah that was until...
I met God's Will on a Halloween night
He was dressed as a bag of leaves

I will never get used to...

Being stood up. It's so hard for me to comprehend the reasons a person stands another up. Especially when you consider that person a friend. No show. No call. Won't answer the phone. Why can't anyone just be honest these days? If you don't want to see someone, say so. If you don't want to talk to them say so. But to be rude and just ignore them. I will never understand it. Maybe it's just me. I dislike being late anywhere. If I can't make it somewhere, I call. I don't make promises I can't keep. If I have to break a promise, I feel a thousand times guilty for not being able to keep it. Maybe this is a flaw in me. I'm too nice. I'm too lenient. I tend to say what's on my mind and hold nothing back with those I care about the most. Fat lot of good it gets me. I am being stood up by one guy, ignored by another, and well, the third, I'm not even going there anymore. What happened to simple curtesy? Simple caring of other's feelings that you might, just might, hurt them if you can't do as you say you will. Or if you don't respond to their missives because they may just want to know you are okay. I think I give up. I will just live alone without all these rude men in my life. I'm tired of being hurt and I've done nothing wrong. Just tired of it.

You know what really irritates me?

When someone you thought was a friend ignores you without giving an explaination. When they become so busy in their life that they can't even acknowledge a phone call or an email. Why do I even bother caring so dam much?