Challenges...

I haven't been on here in three years. Wow! Did my life suddenly become boring or did I just find other pursuits? I'm still single. Still a Mom of a mentally challenged daughter. Still working at the same job. As I start this up again, it is mostly because I find myself lost again. After ten years of being single, I am left wondering is it worth it to put myself out there again. Do I need to go through more hurt, rejection, life changing decisions, and being unsure of my next step? I vowed to myself ten years ago that I would not put myself in a vulnerable position again, and yet, here I am again, looking to see what or who is out there. Am I worth knowing? Am I worth loving? Some days I feel so confident and other days I feel so lost. I don't like self pity and yet, I am finding myself more and more depressed at what may be my future. Alone, unloved, and discontent with my lot in life. Why now? why after ten years am I having these feelings? Thus begins my new challenge...to be happy with my life, accept what may never be, and to enjoy it regardless of what is. That, and losing 50lbs. Interesting to see which one gets accomplished first, you think?