It's gonna be my birthday!!!

It's my birthday tomorrow and for some reason I am sure being depressed today. I keep thinking is this all there is??? Will the rest of my life consists of worrying about sitters, work, health, and Vicky without anything for me? No love life, no peace of mind, no rest? I know this mood will pass but for now I seem to be wallowing in it and keep wishing all my worries will go away...permanently. Oh well, Happy Early Birthday to me...

So much for babysitters...

Well, the new sitter welshed out on me. After watching her on Friday and yesterday, she decided she couldn't devote the time for Vicky on top of watching the other kids she does. No notice, just a phone call. Another girl, Erin, called yesterday evening and wants to try her hand at watching her. I think it's going to get harder and harder as she gets older trying to find someone for her. I may end up having to move to Waco just to find more available sitters. I can't do that until she finishes school. This is so hard as a single parent. I have to work to pay bills and take care of her. The stress of all of it is eating me up. Isn't life grand? NOT...

Update...

I'm so behind on posting lately. This Business Law class has kept me busy and my next class, Finance for Business, will also, I am sure. I've been having a sitter crisis lately. My wonderful sitter of two years had to move out of the area and I didn't have anyone to cover for her. Fortunately, after much nail biting and no sleeping, I found a new sitter. She'll start with her on Friday and it's such a relief. I pray they will get along. Vicky is a big flirt and this new sitter has BOYS!!

Caylee is doing great. Gaining weight and still purty! Grandma hopes to see her on Sunday! Wish I had more going on in my life but I think my plate is pretty full.

More Caylee...

Can you tell I'm a proud Grandma?

Welcome to Caylee Stella!

Caylee Stella was welcomed into this world a little after 9:00 PM today. She weighed 7 lbs. 11 oz. and was 20 inches long! Mother is doing fine, Grandma is eggscited! Kidlet doesn't get it yet but will when she sees her sister doesn't have a belly anymore and can see Caylee for the first time. : )

Catch up day...

Wow, I didn't realize it's been over a month since I've last posted. I'm so busy doing classwork, working, and taking care of kidlet, that I have no time to get online and do other things. I do have some news though. Lauren will be having her baby on March 5th!! The doctor is going to induce it (don't ask me why, I don't know). I'm sooo excited. I am taking the day off but have to work that whole day Saturday, which will suck. Small price to pay though for watching Caylee being born.

Kidlet will be 21 on March 21st. I can hardly believe it. Lordee, I feel so old. That's about it for my life. Nothing new going on besides the baby and birthdays. Hope everyone who reads this is doing well.

Baby Shower...

I went to Lauren's baby shower today. She got the cutest things. I thought I would post some of them here. Her sister, Sarah, drove up from Baytown as well and got a picture of them both too. Enjoy the pictures!




Lauren and Sarah



Gifts



Opening presents!



The Browns and ME : ) (I'm the one behind Lauren with the glasses on)



Beautiful Baby Mamma!

Happy New Year...

I hope 2009 brings changes to those who want them, good luck to those that need it, and hope for everyone that life will be good...as for me, I just want to pass all of my classes : )

Happy New Year!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!!

Updates...

Well, Christmas is almost upon us. I, personally, am ready for it to be over. Too many people stressing this year about how can they afford to get their kids toys. Myself, kidlet isn't getting anything from me. Before you raise your arms in protest, there are presents for her from others and I feel I buy her enough during the year. I just bought her a new boombox as well because her's bit the dust AGAIN. I don't do holidays well. I'm ready for this one to be over.

School is going okay, I guess. My team mates in my current class are NO help at all with the team project that is worth 30% of my grade. I've been trying to write it all myself and have no clue as to what I am doing. I have a friend who has already taken the class and she is helping me organize it so Kudos to Kel!

I haven't seen Lauren much lately. She's been very busy since she got back from Disney World. She didn't take her Momma!

I found out today they bought Zebras about a month ago. That's right, ZEBRAS. I admit, I am jealous when someone can go out and spend $8,000 on two breeding Zebras and I can barely buy groceries. Is that wrong of me?

Kidlet is on school break and our classes are on hold for two weeks as well. We aren't required to post either, which is nice. I do expect to berate my team mates though for their lack of help in organizing this paper. That's coming very soon. I have not mentioned I'm writing it by myself. No way will I post it to them until the very last and they will not get a mention.

That's it for my life. Exciting, is it not?

Thanksgiving is over...Christmas right around the corner...

My sitter put up her Christmas tree today. What is it with people wanting to rush Christmas here? I don't do lights, trees, or barely any gifts. It's so hard for me to get into the Christmas spirit anymore. Kidlet has one of those fiber optic trees she likes to keep in her room year 'round because of the lights. That's our tree. I don't buy her gifts much mainly because I can't afford it. She gets some stuff from MHMR Christmas Wish list and a few friends but she really doesn't need much. She's happy with her CDs, Movies (Smallville), and such. Good thing, huh?

For me, I get that SADD every winter to where I just get depressed and want to do NOTHING. Of course, it doesn't help that it's been 3 months since my last you-know-what and my hormones are all out of whack again.

I started a new class on Tuesday and so far, I don't like the teacher. I've asked him two questions in my individual folder and have yet to get a response. Maybe I'm expecting too much due to the holidays? I really don't want to do this course but I will stick it out as usual.

Yes, I know, I'm whining. I figure I'm entitled, I haven't done it in a long time, have I?

Things I am thankful for...

1. My semi-good health
2. The good health of my kids
3. The future granddaughter I'm anxiously waiting for
4. The ability to keep my mind active so I don't flunk my classes
5. My job
6. My faith that all things happen for a reason, good or bad
7. My ability to see so that I may read my books
8. The smiles from my children
9. Being alive : )
last but not least...everything I have, could want, or need

What are you thankful for?

I snitched another picture of her...

Now you can see the tummy a wee bit...

5 months and counting...

Went to see Lauren today. She wouldn't let me take a picture of her showing her cute little bulging tummy. I did get a picture of her though but you can't see the stomach very well. If you look close you may be able to see it some : ) I can't wait for Caylee Stella Brown to arrive!

It's a GIRL!!

Lauren is going to have a GIRL! Her name will be Caylee Stella Brown. The first part is part of his mother's and my mother's names and the middle is her greatgrandmother's name. Lauren's middle name is also Stella. I can't wait!

Changes...

I went back to the old blog format. I didn't really like the new one. Font was too small and since I'm half blind I couldn't read what I wrote. : )

Things are going okay here. Still working at that temp job until I hear back from the insurance place. I'm hoping to hear from them by the end of the week. He said I was the top contender for the job. I'm not too happy with the under 40 hrs though but if I can get at least 38 a week, I can make it. Only made 36 for this week, not good. Will be going in early all week if possible to have a better paycheck.

School is going okay. This class isn't as tough (yet) as the last one. I made a 10 out of 10 points for my first paper. : )

Team assignment is due next Sunday or Monday so hoping everyone gets thier stuff done in time.

I've been feeling slightly lonely lately. I think it's the weather. Gets cool and you start thinking about snuggling. It'll pass, I'm sure.

Happy Fall Everyone!

Smallville...

Some days it pays to do nothing and just watch a marathon of shows. I spend the almost the whole day yesterday watching Smallville Season 7. Why? Because I could. Surprisingly, the kidlet even let me do so. She was watching her copies in her room. She likes to skip through scenes and I like to watch the whole thing. I do agree with her though, Tom Welling is a hottie!

I start my new job tomorrow. I'm not even sure what the dress code is for the place. I decided to wear some dressy jeans and a nice shirt. What can they do? send me home?

Class starts up again on Tuesday. My first paper is about making a critical decision (business decision) which will be hard since I don't have a job where I make those decisions. I'm am going to find out if I can use the decision process I used when I decided to quit the call center job. My only regret from that place is the paycheck. The pay was excellent but listening to people bitch and complain for six hours a day is not a thrilling job. I don't have the patience for it. If I ever have to call another customer service place, I will have more respect for the person on the other end of the phone. They are only trying to do thier job. It's not their fault the company is screwed up. Well, unless they are the ones that screwed up the account and then it's a whole other story. Oh yea, and those surveys they ask you to do before you talk to the agent, DO THEM. They are paid based on their scores. The higher the scores, the better pay they get. I'll be doing mine now.

Enjoy the coming week...

LIfe is crazy...

Well,
I was hired for the job that worked 8-5 but after less than two weeks, I got laid off!! Their business slowed down to much to keep me. Ain't life a bitch? I did find another job I start on Monday but have to work 11am to 7pm and drive to Waco every day. That parts sucks too but it's a job and I can't afford not to work. God, I wish my retirement plan would kick in! hahahaha (the lottery)

An update...

Hurrican Ike update (for McGregor)

We didn't get much rain, we didn't get much wind. What I did get was my sister and her two grandsons at my house for four days because she didn't have any electricity. Did I mention I'm not used to the noise a 3 yr old and a 10? mon. old makes? ACK!! On a good note, Sarah, Mark, and the boys (my two Grandsons) came up to stay with Lauren and BJ because they didn't have any electricity. I got to see my newest Grandson who is only 17 months old and already walking! Both boys were so cute though.

I may have a job, I'll find out tomorrow about it. Lady thinks I'm over qualified for the position, go figure. She wants to train me to take her place so she can retire in 3-4 years. Told her sounds like my kind of job. It's 40.00 less a week than what I was making but hours make up for it. Will be working 8-5 and off WEEKENDS! Praying she hires me!! Cross your fingers for me!

I did a stooopid thing today...

I quit my job. Yep, quit it without having another to go to. I just couldn't take another day in that place. This is the first time I've ever really hated a job. I did hear from the placement agency about the receptionist job though. Apparently the lady they did hire, quit, so they were asking about me. Waiting on a call to go for another interview with them and in the meantime, heading to Waco tomorrow to job search! Wish me luck!

Still here...

I'm still here. So busy with this crazy Humanities class. For an elective, it sure is time consuming. We are waiting to see how much rain we get from Ike. Although I am inland, we are still in the path. Lots of flooding to come and we definetly need the rain though. Kidlet is doing well and I'm waiting to go to work...(yea, I'm excited, can you tell?) ha!

Interesting blog...

I came across a blog today one of the entries was very thought provoking and worth reading. Here is the link : http://diaryofadyingmom.blogspot.com/2008/09/laundry-list-of-lessons.html
I hope you enjoy reading it : )

Still have same job..

Well, my job search bomb out. No one called me back for the job or some didn't call me for an interview. I guess I'm stuck where I am at. I'm still hoping for a 7-3:30 shift and once my team leader gets back from wherever she is, I'll talk to her about it. Right now I'm working 9:30-6 which isn't a good shift but better than 11-7:30 any day. School is going okay. I'm knee deep into Humanties right now and wishing this class was over. The next class will be even harder but this one, I just don't really care for at all. Each class will be getting harder and harder, I know. Kidlet is doing good. Started back to school and I think she is happy about it. She always prefers to stay home with MOM, of course. Hope everyone is doing well!!

Job Interview

I have a job interview on Monday. It is for a receptionist job outside of the town I am currently in. I pray with all my heart I will get it so I can get off those phones. I am beginning to hate this new job. They don't keep their promises of raises and I hate working swing shifts. I want to work consistent hours, preferably 8-5 with weekends off. I'm taking off tomorrow because if I go in, I'll just scream. I've handled 100 calls in two days!! Wish me luck on the new job hunt!!!

I have news!!!!

I'm going to be a Grandma again!! Lauren, who has been trying for two years, is almost 8 weeks pregnant. I am hoping she does not lose it since she's already lost one. I'm constantly on her to slow down and take it easy. Going to see her tomorrow be all motherly and stuff! : ) I'm excited!

Work is going good. This week was a little slow but today was really busy. They keep changing my schedule so much I never know what hours I'll be working. Worked 6-2:30 this week and next week I'll be on 9-5:30 shift. I wish they'd let us keep specific hours. It will be hard getting kidlet off to school with such wacky hours.

It's been horrendously HOT here lately. 100 today, tomorrow, and 105 on Sunday! I've only mowed my grass once this summer!

I'm in my last week of my third class. I really don't like this Team stuff they make us do. Two of our team mates were supposed to turn in assignments yesterday and they have yet to even post. I'll be writing a paper all weekend. It is due on Monday. Thankfully I'm off this Monday as well. What a way to spend a three day weekend. : )

Quiet once again...

Well, I took kidlet to OK on Saturday. So far I'm enjoying the time alone by working 12 hrs shifts at work right now. We are allowed OT due to the iPhone coming out although I haven't seen a lot of issues regarding them at this time. I went to see my sister on Sunday and got my second speeding ticket ever in my life!!! Stupid little town cop clocked me going 70 in a 55 zone. yea yea, it was my fault but sheesh, he should've let me slide! I now have to pay 107.00 dollars and take the drivers thing online to get it off my record. As if I don't have enough going on with school and work too. Now I'm off for a hot shower and bed. Have a good one!!

Some days I just hate being peri-menapausal...

Disclaimer: This is a woman topic (men avoid if you can)

It's been a while since I've had any mood swings. About six months, I think. So I guess I am due. I'm into my second start for this month (just 15 days after the last one) and it's making me horribly moody! All I feel like doing is crying. In the next breath, I wish I had someone to just hold me. The next breath, I'm glad there isn't anyone (a guy) to be around to bug the crap out of me. See what I mean? Hopefully this will only last for no more than another day and I will be back to my normal happy self, whatever that means. : ) I keep dreading the time when my body does decide to go into menapause and then I get to deal with hot flashes, night sweats, and wanting to kill everyone. Even the kidlet. Poor thing, she has no idea what is in store for her... I'm going to try to hang in there though...or so I keep telling myself that.

Happy 4th Everyone!!!

I'm glad it's the weekend although I have to start writing yet another paper for class. I finished one this morning and need to start on paper number two for next Monday. These classes are SOOOO intense!

I get to work 7-3:30 next week and hope to do so for at least a month. I love working days because they seem to go by so much faster. Trying to work from 4-7:30pm every night just drags. Things are good from 11am-about 4pm then they just seem to drag no matter how busy the phones are at work.

Today at work the phones weren't too bad. Everyone was off doing things. Yesterday though it was like everyone wanted to call before the holiday. I did 41 calls!! I think I barely did 25 today. I forgot to look.

Kidlet is off with sitter right now. She took her with them to her brother's house for bbq and fireworks. Called me and said Vicky was having a blast. I'm glad, I get peace and quiet and Vicky gets to have fun. : )

She's supposed to go to OK in about two weeks. Hoping nothing goes wrong and my friend can take her. Sitter is going on vaction the 20th through the 26th and won't have anyone to watch her. Cross your fingers nothing messes up!

I'm off to watch a movie, enjoy the holiday weekend everyone!

Okay, it's official...I am no longer a pet person..

Lauren gave me a kitten. It's a cute little thing. It's also a vicious little thing. No, not really. But he does like to play and nothing like being woke up as a kitten pounces on your face at 7am in the morning. I think I would do better if he were declawed but he's too young for it yet. Plus, my nose has been stuffy since I got him so I think I don't do well with cat dander. Vicky hides in her bedroom so he can't stratch her as well. He's going back to Lauren, today. One way or another. Lauren owns about four cats and he'll have someone to play with there. Instead of my feet, legs, arms, face, etc... : )

Committment team

I'm supposed to take a test at work today. Applying for position on the Committment Team. It's not a raise in pay but I'll be off phones. We follow through on resolving customer's issues and call them to let them know their problems have been resolved. We don't sell anything : ) Kind of looking forward to doing something different. Wish me luck!!

UPDATE!
Didn't get it : (

Took the kidlet to the movies today. We saw Kung Fu Panda. I thought it was cute! I still want to see the new Narnia movie but don't think she'll sit through it for two hours. If sitter will watch her on Thursday, her sister and I might go. That's my exciting Sunday! How was your's?

Catch up time...

Life is good.
Making A's in school. Job is going great. Love the new car. Kidlet is healthy. I'm healthy (least I think I am). Not much else going on right now. No time to blog, get on AOL much, or think. I pretty much just go to work, come home and write papers for school, tend to kidlet, and if I have time, do something for me. I am off this weekend and hope to take kidlet to movies. I want to see the new Narnia movie but don't think she'll sit through it all. We may go see Kung Fu Panda instead. I'm suppose to put an alarm in my car this coming Thursday. Small town to be needing it but with being new, I want to do it.

Dona,
I swear I'll get to post office soon! Hopefully by next Thursday when I have the whole day off : )Hang in there!!!

Meme

The rules of the game get posted at the beginning

Each player answers the questions about themselves.

At the end of the post, the player tags 5 people and posts their name, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1.What was I doing 10 years ago? Going to college. (the first time)
2.Five snacks I enjoy in a perfect, non weight-gaining world:

ANYTHING chocolate or covered in chocolate...hahahaha

3.Five snacks I enjoy in the real world: Still anything covered in chocolate. : )

4.Five things I would do if I were a billionaire:

Give money to charity for kids who are mentally disabled. Find a secluded place on a hilltop and build a home. Quit working, maybe. Build my own library. Give my family some money and say, "Once it's gone, it's gone". : )

5.Five jobs that I have had:

Cook in a diner, waitress, clerk in a convenience store, manager of a convenience store, and ROI clerk.

6.Five of my habits:

Wake up too early afraid I'll be late to places. Check email every morning first thing I wake up. (I'm sure there are other habits but my mind is a blank, I'll come back to this one)

7.Five places I have lived:

Satellite Beach, FL; Little Rock, AR; Newport News, VA; Meridan-Wallingford, CT; too many places in TX to count.


8.Five people we should all get to know better: (A nice way of saying TAG!)

Dona and Two-Dollar Productions : )
Sorry, I don't know five people on here I can really tag.

Sorry for the delay, Bill. Been busy : )

A friend sent me this...feel free to post your's ...

1. Where is your mobile phone? Pocket or purse

2. Your significant other? No-one

3. Your hair? Brown with red tints : (

4. Your mother? Deceased

5. Your father? Deceased

6. Your favorite thing? My new car!

7. Your dream last night? I was supposed to dream?

8. Your favorite drink? Ice tea

9. Your dream/goal? To finish online schooling without losing my mind.

10. The room you’re in? Computer Room

11. Your ex? Is this for a boyfriend or husband? I have no ex-husband. He died. I do have an ex boyfriend though.

12. Your fear? I'll die and Vicky will be here at house alone with my dead body.

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Not sure, I'm really happy where I am now.

14. Where were you last night? Bed

15. What you’re not? Mean and judgemental

16. Muffins? Occasionally

17. One of your wish list items? To win the lottery of course : )

18. Where you grew up? Is this a trick question? I am an Air Force Brat, does that say anything? haha

19. The last thing you did? Drove to Waco to Wally World

20. What are you wearing? Clothes

21. Your TV? Off

22. Your pets? I have a kidlet, I don't do pets

23. Your computer? H-P

24. Your life? Constandly moving

25. Your mood? Pretty spiffy right now

26. Missing someone? Not at the moment

27. Your car? Yaris

28. Something you’re not wearing? Umm, that's a bit personal : )

29. Favorite Store? Book store

30. Your summer? HOT

31. Like someone? Most everyone

32. Your favorite color? Hunter green

33. When is the last time you laughed? Today

34. Last time you cried? Friday night, I was stressed over something.

35. Who will/would re-post this? Have no clue

There you go, Bill : )

Isn't she pretty? : )

I got my new car today!!

It's sooo pretty. I'll post pictures of it later this weekend. It's a blazing blue Toyota Yaris : ) I love it!!

Oh, and I graduated today! I'm a full-fledged call center agent! : )

Life is good...

Time to play catch up...

Let's see...
I started the new job on April 21st and tomorrow, I graduate my training!!! I will officially be a call center agent. I am somewhat nervouse because I've only taken live calls twice and never by myself yet. We are suppose to take calls tomorrow by ourselve. I'm looking forward to it (some) haha.

I finished my first class at school and received an A. My second class started this Tuesday and already had to write a paper! I have another one due next week but I think that is a team project. We have yet to know our team mates though.

I went down to the Toyota dealer today and talked to them about buying a new car. I should know tomorrow about financing. My ex is going to buy my pickup for 1250.00 which will help with any payments I may have for a few months.

Between school and work, I'm just too tuckered to do much else.

Enjoy Memorial Day weekend!!!

I need a new nose...

Ooooh, I hate this! On Monday, my nose started it's annual.."I'm not going to let you breathe without pain and I'll constantly drip" stage. Whatever is in the air needs to go AWAY!

On a brighter note, I think Lauren and BJ are going to help me buy a new car. My pickup is a 1992 (with a new motor) but it's slowly falling apart. I've been looking at Toyota Yaris's and I may get that. One, it's cheap. Two, it has good gas mileage. Today I have to go to tax office and apply for a lost title on my pickup. I have yet to figure out what happened to that thing so need that before I can trade mine in. I might call my ex bf and see if he wants to buy it from me, he loves mazdas!!! We'll see though. First things first..off to tax office after work today!

Happy Birthday to me!

Doing the Snoopy dance!!! : )

Whew...I'm done! Sort of...

I had three papers to write for my first class. The first one has a 350 word minimum and I wrote a little over 400. Second, a 1500 word minimum and I wrote exactly 1507 words! haha The last paper is a team paper and I wrote over 1300 for that one so leaving it up to my teammates to write the balance we need for 1750 to 2100 words. Two more weeks of class and the first one is finished!!

( I noticed on here that I didn't even mention I did get a job! The place I applied to in January) Maybe now the following paragraph will makes senes, eh?

I survived my first week of training at work as well. I am a little annoyed because a few of the people have done call center work before so they joke, laugh, and talk while our trainer is talking. I really want to learn how to do this and do it well but I can't if they don't SHUT UP! My neighbor sitting next me to today, kept getting aggravated because she felt we were going TOO slow for her. Every time we asked a question, you could hear her sigh. Oh well, maybe she will be the first one to quit or be fired due to not being trained well enough because of inattention. I don't really know. I just know I want to learn it. It seems fascinating and you get to work with a computer, which I love. I'll let you know how week two goes...

We had some severe storms in our area this evening. Fortunately nothing in our town but Waco and Belton had some tornados or at least, high winds. Have to love tornado alley, eh?

It's Official...

As of 3 pm tomorrow, I will be unemployed. That's right, I'm being let go..FINALLY! I am so ready. We were in the last stages of closing anyway and I just don't want to deal with the headaches from it. The boss is bossy, the secretary is bossy, and I don't want the added stress. I called the company I applied for in January and they are supposed to give me a call back. If I don't hear from them by Monday, I'll go up there personally. I'll also apply for unemployment online tomorrow when I get home. May as well cover all the bases, eh? I am supposed to get at least 6 weeks worth of pay on my last check. Severance. That will be nice. I'll pay ahead on all my house bills I can so I won't have to worry about them for a few months. So far gas and electric haven't been over 100.00 together. I plan on trying to keep it that way. Now if I can just fit into my dress clothes (the few ones I have). : )

2 Dollar Productions..MEME

I've posted my responses to another bloggers MEME...what is your's?


1. Where is your mobile phone? Pocket
2. Your significant other? No-one
3. Your hair? Thin
4. Your mother? Dead
5. Your father? Dead
6. Your favorite thing? Reading
7. Your dream last night? None
8. Your favorite drink? Tea
9. Your dream/goal? Career
10. The room you’re in? Home
11. Your ex? Stupid
12. Your fear? Spiders
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Retired
14. Where were you last night? Bed
15. What you’re not? Hateful
16. Muffins? Rarely
17. One of your wish list items? Lottery
18. Where you grew up? Everywhere
19. The last thing you did? Blog
20. What are you wearing? Clothes
21. Your TV? Off
22. Your pets? None
23. Your computer? Mine
24. Your life? Sedate
25. Your mood? Optimistic
26. Missing someone? No
27. Your car? Old
28. Something you’re not wearing? Shorts
29. Favorite Store? Bookstore
30. Your summer? Brutal
31. Like someone? Often
32. Your favorite color? Green
33. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday
34. Last time you cried? Funeral
35. Who will/would re-post this? Dona

School work, school work...

I've been really busy doing a lot of school work lately. I think I found out how they do most of your testing. They make you write PAPERS!!! So far I've written two papers, well, wrote one I'll turn in. The second paper still has problems with it but I'm working on it. I'll be starting up a team paper this weekend. It has to be around 1,750-2,100 words between three people. I'll write up a tentative paper and turn it in to my team. They can add/subtract whatever they don't like. We also have to do a power point project but fortunately one of my team members knows how to do that so she is in charge of building it off of our highlights. Wish me luck!

On a more personal note, I received some pictures in email yesterday of my Grandsons. The youngest I've yet to see in person! Sarah, my daughter, has lost sooo much weight. I guess chasing after two boys will do that to you. I'm posting them for your viewing "oohs and ahhs".

This is Caleb : )


This is Ryan : )


This is skinny Sarah!



I am hoping Sarah will bring the boys up here this summer since it's so hard for me to get down there. If not, I think, when I'm laid off I'll see if Lauren wants to ride down there with me to go see them. We will see! Toodles...

Still hanging in there...

I've been able to write a 350-400 word essay that is due during week four of class so I am glad that is out of the way. I now have to write a rough draft for my Individual paper on team dynamics. I am going to write about conflict resolution, I think. I started writing it only to find out that I have no clue how to cite or reference the documentation I wish to use. It is off our school web site. I've looked at numerous examples and finally just decided to change the format of my paper and use other sources. I will ask my teacher how it is done so I will know in the future. For now, I don't want to overstress myself about it and I found other resources that will work just as well. Now if I could only figure out how an Introduction differs from a Thesis statement. Any clues, anyone?

All day affair...

Whew, I've spent all day looking at upcoming class assignments and working on those I can do ahead of time. I've had to download articles, ebooks, and syllabus. So far I know I have to write a 350-page paper on Effects of Technology (which technological change has had the largest effect on life in this country). They sure believe in having you JUMP right in. It's been ages since I've written a paper. ACK! There is also a team effort to write a 1750-2100 word paper on Ethics in Academic Environment plus a Powerpoint presentation. I'm so glad I stil have Office 2000 for my PowerPoint because I heard 2007 is a little hard to manage. That is, I'll have to uninstall 2007 and put 2000 back on my old computer. I think I won't be on AOL too much for the next five weeks. Any extra time will be spent reading, writing, and trying NOT to lose my mind. Back to the books!!

Okay...how to time budget...

I have to figure out how to budget my time more wisely. I am required to log into class and post something twice a day for at least four days within a week's time. Doesn't sound too difficult. I will also be in teams to do some of my work. Joy Joy. I'm not so good at depending on others. I am going to try though!

Busy Busy Busy

I've been so busy lately. Trying to get all the paperwork done for school financials. I found out today that each year will cost me around $12,456 to attend. So far I am eligible for loans up to $10,500. This is not counting the possible Pell Grant I am also eligible for but have to wait at least a month for them to decide if I am going to get it. If that happens, it should be for about $4,310 which leaves me more than enough for school and some leftover. Yay me!

I am currently doing a Student Workshop at the site in hopes to prepare me for becoming familiar with online teaching and discipling myself to find the time to log on to access the site. I set up my laptop last night to share folders and my printer so I can be lazy if I want and lay in bed to work. My feet have been swelling too much lately so laying in bed is a good thing.

I'm so proud of myself for setting up my Home Network. It was easy to do and so far, no glitches.

I hope to officially start my first class on April 8th. Wish me luck!!!

For good or bad..

Well, I made a major decision with my life this week and it's only Tuesday!!! I decided to go back to school. Doing the online courses thing this time though. I am going for a BS in Health Adminstration/Health Information Systems. I would still need to go to school here locally to take classes for Medical Technician but I will do that after I get my BS. I figure I need to have a career instead of a job and since I am familiar with hospitals, I think I will go apply at some local ones after we shut down at my present job. Should look good that I am working toward a BS, yes? I will be putting myself in debt though : ( Anyway, wish me luck!

Took kidlet to the movies, out to lunch, and toy store for her birthday this past weekend. She had fun! Talked Lauren into going with us as well.

That's it for my life at the moment. : )

I meant to post this yesterday but as with all things, I got sidetracked.

I went to San Antonio this past weekend WITHOUT THE KIDLET! Yay, me! A group of friends got together to meet there and I decided I needed the break and went. Sitter was nice enough to watch her Saturday and Sunday for me. I had fun. Ate too much, walked too much, laughed a lot, and saw some fireworks. San Antonio is a town that will party for any reason. St. Patrick's Day is just the excuse they needed. : )




Kidlet turns 20 this Friday. Another year gone. I am taking her to the movies, out to eat, and to Toys-R-Us. She rarely buys anything from that store but I think she likes to just look.

That was my exciting news for now...I hope everyone has a good week. : )

I'm still alive. Still working.

Not much going on in my life right now. Only have a month or so left at old place then I'll be looking for work.

Kidlet will be 20 next Friday! She's growing up so fast in age, at least. I've promised her that we will go to a movie, Toys-R-Us, and out to eat next weekend. (What have I done??) haha

Lauren and BJ are doing okay. They went to Costra Rica this week to deep sea fish. She never takes me anywhere!!! wahhhhh

I'm actually being brave this weekend and going for an overnight stay in San Antonio. Sitter has agreed to keep the kidlet Saturday night so I can do so. I'm looking forward to it but a little apprehensive. I'm too used to being by myself and crowds make me uncomfortable. I'm going to go unless something happens that prevents it. I should have a nice time.

I've been reading so much these past few months. Last count was 50 books, I think. Right now I'm reading David Baldacci. I like his twists and turns and he always has one character you'd love to kill yourself. : )

That's my life in a nutshell : )

Just thought I would put a note that I am still around. Work is going very slow right now and I'm reading up to several books a day while sitting on my arse. It's sort of hard knowing I really can't look for work right now because we don't know when we are closing down but then it's also a relief knowing I am still employed. Lesser of two evils, maybe? Not much is really going on actually. Just work, home, and the kidlet. I'll write again when my life gets more exciting : )

Happy Valentine's Day to me...yadda yadda yadda

Strangest thing...

I had a very strange thing happen today. I didn't check my paycheck stub until I got home and imagine my surpise...they paid me a week's severance!!! Far as I know I'm still employed and they are supposed to pay me five week's whenever I am finally laid off. I'm not touching that money till office manager calls them on Monday to find out what's happening. Is it a blessing in disguise or an omen???? hmmmm

More updates...

Lets see..
I'm still working at same job. We are down to six people not counting the four "supervisors" that are becoming redundant.


Kidlet went to a Fishing Event for Really Special People on Saturday. She had a blast dancing. Her sister, Lauren, went with us and danced with her for about three hours. I finally had to make kidlet stop dancing because she doesn't sweat well and her poor little hands were so red and hot. She was "eggscited" though.






It's warming up a little past few days. In the upper 70s with expected showers on Tuesday. Who knows what will happen after that?

Happy Superbowl Cowboyless Sunday!!!

I want to know who left the refrigerator door open? Its been freezing lately. Work is steady and I was told by other place to come by as soon as this job ends to talk to them. All's well so far!!

Update on my life...

Okay, some changes still going on here.
1.) My current job is now still available till at least May. I am staying with it till they shut the doors so that I can get my three week's vacation pay as severance.
2.) I am not taking the new job. I am calling them on Tuesday to explain the unlaying off I am being and would hope they'll let me re-apply when the doors do shut.
3.) There is another job that may become available by the end of May so that option is sort of open.

I've been called stupid for staying where I am when the job isn't secure but I LOVE that job. Plus it's I'm loyal. A bad trait, I know but I am. I'm still going nuts over all of it but for now, I have a steady paycheck.

To Dona...THANK YOU!: )

I have a job!!!!! ( I think)

I went to a Job Fair today in Waco. There is a new call center opening in McGregor for a company called Convergys. I've never had the opportunity to do call center work and thankfully they train you. The pay is much better than what I was getting and as long as I pass the background check and piss test, all's a go. I'll report to training on Jan. 28th. Ironically, that is the same day I started working for the original company I am at now. Only five years later. Strange, eh? I think my last day at my company is the 18th. I'll have to go two weeks without a check but hoping income tax check comes in and that will tide me over. The next time you call AT&T, it just might be me on the other end of the phone!!! : )

Not so good news...

Well, it happened. The one thing I kept hoping that wouldn't. I have about two more weeks with my job then they are closing the place down. I'll be out there job hunting and I also found out that unemployment takes up to three or four weeks before the checks kick in. How do you pay your bills? I have to work until the last possible day to qualify for getting laid off. Life is not fun right now. Although, my new computers are kind of fun. Ha!

Well, Christmas is over and now comes paying the bills part. Not only did I buy myself a new laptop but I also bought a new tower. Both are upgrades from what I have and will run on Vista (which I like, by the way). I think I got a good deal for both of them. Total cost was only 1400.00 for both. Computers are sure getting cheap these days.

Kidlet is back from Oklahoma. Went and fetched her today. I'm tired and sore as well. I decided to move furniture around Friday night by myself. Remind me next time to hire someone...haha.

I have to work tomorrow but off on New Year's Day. I hope everyone has a happy New Year!!!

I'm still alive and well contrary to most opinions (my own). Took the kidlet to Lawton on Saturday and missed all the snow!!! I'm glad I got up at 3am in order to leave by 4am. We arrived at 8:30am and I was heading back home by 9:30am. My friend texted me and said it started snowing at 11! Whew, I'm good, eh? I'm off for the next two days and plan on staying home. Between driving to Oklahoma, shopping, and going south to my sister's, I'm tired. My new laptop is supposed to arrive tomorrow so I'll have a toy to play with too. I've also been book shopping and I'm all stocked up for a reading frenzy. I'm in heaven!!! Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Bored...bored...bored!

I'm sitting at work bored out of my mind. So far I've read half of "The Stand" for the fifth time. I guess it beats being outside in the cold though. Kidlet is ready for Xmas and getting excited. I ordered her the following: sixth season of Smallville, first season of Kyle XY, a pair of PJs, and some kind of electronic teaching toy (I forget which one at the moment). She may be going to OK for Xmas again this year. My friend says she wants her there. Life is going okay so far. Hope everyone's elses is too...

It was a dark and dismal day...

Okay...not so dark. It is pretty dismal outside today though. I looked at the radar and noticed all that snow up North and wished it was here. At least once would be nice. Snow to last the weekend then be gone. Maybe we will get more this year, who knows? Otherwise its rainy, cold, and good napping weather. Now if kidlet would let me sleep : )

Different things ...

It was an odd Thanksgiving this year. First, it was only the kidlet and I because Lauren and BJ decided to go hunting in Canada. Last I heard, they still haven't killed anything. Kidlet and I had Tacos on Thanksgiving day and I finally cooked the bird on Friday. It just didn't feel like Thanksgiving. I am thankful I have a job, my health (so to speak), kidlet is pretty healthy (if we could get rid of her cough), have a roof over our heads, and food in our bellies. What more could we ask for, right? I guess I've always been a bah humbug during holiday times. Even as a kid, I would hide in the closet and only come out under duress or when my Mom dragged me out by the arm thus feeling as if my shoulder had come undone. Christmas is the worst by far. I just don't like it. It's never been my dream Christmas where the family all comes together and actually enjoys each other's company. I don't talk to my younger sister at all. Older sister, I talk to her, but we aren't as close as we should be. My parents are gone. They weren't exactly the glue to hold us together when they were alive though. I didn't put up a tree last year and if I can get away with it, I won't this year. Fortunately, kidlet hasn't a clue as to which day Christmas falls on and if she doesn't receive a lot of presents, it doesn't bother her. I just want January to get here. NOW. Let's skip December altogether, okay?

To all that read my blog (when I write something)...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Funeral services are tomorrow morning for my friend at 10am. Fortunately, those at work who would like to go are allowed to do so. I'm still bummed. Apparently he was shot in the back by a 55 year old man. In the back! Which to everyone means he was walking away from the altercation. We still don't understand why the man felt so threatened he had to shoot him in the back. Maybe we will never know.

Dying young...

I got word yesterday morning that a 25 yr old man that used to work with me was fatally shot early Saturday morning. Such a loss and waste of a good life. I feel for his mother for none should ever outlive their child. I hope they have the guy that shot him and he pays well for his misdeed. You will be missed, Billy!!!

Yes, it's true. I'm still alive! Not much going on lately. Working hard at work tryinng to fit three warehouses into one. Joy, Joy. Enjoying this fanstatic weather we've been having the past few weeks, although my toes are slightly cold right now. Kidlet is doing good. My mood is slowly improving. Just another day of life : ) Happy Saturday!

I know I've not been posting here much lately. I think...okay, I know...I'm depressed. I'm trying to not let it overcome me and swallow me whole like it usually does. I don't like it when these dark moods come on me. I think between job stress, lack of companionship, money problems, and whatever else life seems to throw at me, it's finally wearing me down. I've been taking a break from being online. Not on AOL as much either. Bear with me and I'll be my perky self soon hopefully. Until then, you might see a few dark missives while I try to sort myself out. Happy Saturday!

Have you ever had an online friend that just disappeared on you? I've had several and I often wonder what has happened in their lives that they just cease to exist. I have a friend that used to read this blog so I'm hoping this message gets to him since he hasn't answered my emails since Easter. Scott..if you are reading this, I hope you are doing well and I miss our book chats. I know life sometimes carries a person down a different path and I hope whatever path you are taking, you are doing well. Take care and God Bless... Scott.

Should I be excited??? I got a 50 cent raise! Now if I could get rid of this Mother of all headaches!

I am posting this on an iPhone. My daughter, Lauren, gave me her 4gb phone and bought herself the 8gb one. How cool is that?? I also had a review at work today that they will turn in to the new company. I made a 32 out of possible 40. I wanted to be perfect!!

Still here. Still nothing to say. Not much going on really. Waiting on job to find out what's going on. One year will be on Thursday..so we will see. Kidlet is doing good. I'm trying to lose weight (again). Still breathing!!!

I've not been very good at writing on here lately. I just don't really have anything to say. I've been depressed (sort of) but that's par for the course I think (still blaming hormones) and have been trying not to WHINE as I usually do on here. Work is still work. Slow as molasses on some days and semi-busy on others. Still waiting till October to see if we are even staying open. I think that's what most of us are doing. Trying to get what little bit of employment we can till they make a decision. October 10th is the year of being a new company and when some contracts run out for a few of the bigwigs there. I'll keep you posted... : )

I wish at times I could quit caring about people who don't care about me... sighs.

Still here...still counting down days at work till we find out if we stay open or not. Still stressing and the usual stuff... nothing new to report. : )

Grrrr...

Finding two books you want and can't get them yet...maddening!!!

I was thinking today..

Yea, I know. I really shouldn't do that, right?
There are a few people out there that find themselves in a point of their life where they see no options. No way out. No end of the rainbow. During these times it's hard to dig yourself out of the black bottomless hole you find yourself in. Some drink. Some use drugs. Some just try to end it all. For good. I reached an epiphany during a time in my life when all went black. I swore no matter how my life went from then on, it would never end in that black hole again. So far, I've managed to hang on to edge and just scream once in a while. Anyway..before I started rambling, I was thinking about a friend of mine. I haven't told him this. I may not. The reason I like him so much is because he knows the quiet desperation when you reach that point in your life. He KNOWS. He also, like me, dug himself out and has managed to hang on. A connection if you will. Kindred souls both trying to either pretend life is always fabulous or convincing themselves it really is. I just know he makes me laugh and I need that a lot sometimes. A whole lot. I hope he stays my friend for many years to come. He just doesn't know what that laughter means to me. He really doesn't.

Do you ever???

Wake up some mornings and wonder which way your life will go today? Wonder if this is the direction it's suppose to be going or is there some surprise down the road awaiting you? Life seems mundane at times. Get up, go to work, come home, and repeat the process all over again each and every day. In the meantime you try to fill in any empty places with times of joy and laughter. If you succeed, you are left with a warm glow that fills your heart and enables you to go back to your routine...one day at a time.

Do you think she's a tad sore???

Dental Surgery..

Kidlet survived her dental surgery. She had to have three wisdom teeth extracted (two were impacted) plus FOUR other teeth. Poor kid. I feel so badly that she inherited the same type of teeth I had growing up. I don't know what we will do when she gets older. She may not have any teeth left and require implants. Unfortunately, her dental care will run out when she is 21. Doesn't leave much time to do anything, does it? Sighs. Gotta go, she needs a hug.

I can't be what you want...

I can't be what you want.
I can't be all things to you.
In being all things to you, I lose sight of me.

I can't be what you want.
I can't give up my independence.
In losing my independence, I lose my sense of self.

I can't be what you want.
I can't be the love of your life.
I don't feel love. I don't want to care. I can't.

Don't ask me to be what you want.
Don't ask me to be what you need.
I can't.

I'm sooo exhausted...

I spent from 7am this morning till 4pm scanning FIVE huge folders of files to a hospital. Over 1600 pages. You'd think sitting at a desk scanning wouldn't be so exhausting but it is. My eyeballs hurt and it gave me a headache. Laying in bed resting sounds pretty darn good right now.

On the job thing; I decided to stick it out where I am for right now and see what happens in OCT. Word is everyone will get a raise then and I will be up for a 1.00 more an hour. If that happens, I think I can live with it. Everyone is jealous because no matter what happens to the company, as long as we have records there, I have a job. Besides the Canon side of the company, I have the most secure job. I guess I can hang with it for a bit longer right? I am still employed and that's a good thing. It was nice though, knowing someone else out there thought I was worth hiring too.

Trying to get things together for Vicky's dental surgery. Have to call the hospital tomorrow afternoon to find out what time she goes in on Monday. I do know she is the first one in line but not sure what exact time will be. I'll keep you posted.

I think I'm going to take a hot shower, lay in bed, and just veggie out...Peace!

Job...

I didn't take the job...it was for a glorified mail clerk. Staying with present job for now..will write more later...

Happenings...

Kidlet is all set up for dental surgery on the 27th. She will miss the first day of school and possibly the second day as well.

I'm sort of all set for job interview tomorrow. I think. Found out today though, that they plan on giving raises in October where I am now and also, if they shut most everything down, my job is still secure as long as we have records at the facility. Changing jobs is such a hard choice sometimes. So many pros and cons for staying or going. Part of me wants to stay because I do like my job. A lot. I'll go see what the woman has to say tomorrow and make my decision then. Sighs. I dislike change.

Job interview..

I have a job interview schedule for Wed at 8:15 am. Wish me luck!!!

Waiting game is over..

He did call... amazing. : )

Waiting game...

I am in the midst of a waiting game, I think. I told the new guy I've been chatting with on the phone that I didn't want to discuss the "S" word in every conversation we had. He has yet to call me since then. Better to find out now than to invest my emotions, eh?

Should I write or should I not???

I sometimes give the link out to someone whom I hope they read this blog and learn a bit more about who I am and what I am like in life. I always have misgivings though. When someone reads it and if I write about them, I feel guilty. Then I feel guilty for feeling guilty. This is my forum. My way to express myself and sound out things so I can cope with them in my head. I'm not changing how I am and if someone reads about themself in here, well, sorry but I feel I have reason to write about you. That being said, here goes...

I've met a man online. He seems like a really nice guy. We talk quite a bit on the phone. I wonder though what we do have in common. His choice of reading material, music, diet, and lifestyle is so much different than my own. How do you hope to get along when you are that different? I know sometimes opposites attract but I have a few misgivings. I guess time will tell especially if we ever meet in person, right? Hard to believe I am letting anyone get close to me. Haven't done that in a long time.

I think I will just let things go for now and try not to overthink it all. Who knows? I sure don't...

Oh yea, did I mention??

The job placement agency called me today at 4:59 wanting to know if I could go for an interview TOMORROW morning. First off, I hate short notice stuff. I have to talk my boss into letting me off work to go. Second, the dentist office FINALLY called yesterday and had to schedule the kidlet's dental surgery on the FIRST day of school! If we didn't do it then, it would be several months before she'd go in again. I had to tell the placement agencies that I couldn't do it until after the 1st of Sept. She takes precedent over finding a new job at the moment. Anyway, we will see how it goes, right?

I dislike grocery shopping!!!

Nothing I dislike more than anything is going grocery shopping. Everything is going up in price except my paycheck. I brought home six of those little plastic bags this evening for a grand total of $86.07! I don't even feel like I really bought anything. I did buy some hamburger, tenderize round steaks, and some bacon. Kidlet has ICE CREAM once again to make her happy. Where's the nearest book store? I don't mind shopping there!!!

What color is your soul painted? Yellow Your soul is painted the color yellow, which embodies the characteristics of joy, happiness, optimism, idealism, gold, hope, liberalism, sociability, friendship, death, courage, intellect, confidence, communication, travel, movement, attraction, persuasion, and charm. Yellow is the color of the element Air, and symbolizes the sun, grain, and the power of thought. Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

Wanna see some cuties???

Top picture is Ryan he is almost 2 now!! Caleb is almost 3 months now!! : ) Cuties, eh?

Happenings..

I was suppose to call my niece this evening. I didn't.

I've been busy updating my resume and looking for local jobs online. I am taking the day off on Wednesday to go to Waco and search for a new job. My job is becoming too slow, too unsure about it's future, and I'm tired of everything in the world rising in price except my wage. I hate to leave this job because I really do like it. I pray I find one I like just as well.

Kidlet is doing good. Still staying close to Mommy and wanting me to come pick her up immediately after I get off work. As if I wouldn't..haha. School starts Aug. 27th and that is a relief to me. Reduced sitter time and money. Of course, sitter might not be too happy about it. : )

I'll keep things posted about my job hunt. I hate interviewing!!

Am I destined to lose my mind?

Sometimes I feel as if there is a time bomb that can go off in my head at any minute. My Mother was bipolar-maniac depressive, my niece is schizophrenic, and now, my little sister is losing what's left of her mind. How do you combat odds like that? I think they want me to go down to Caldwell and talk sense into my sister. She sits in my Mother's old house with no electricity all day long. If her so-called husband comes to get her, she heads right back down there. I'm sure she is talking to my dead Mother. I don't want the drama. I don't need the drama. Sighs.

I don't like surprises...

I really don't like them. If someone has a surprise for me, just do it. Don't tell me about it. I hate that. "Oh, I have a surprise for you". As if I don't know that usually means I'm either going to hate what they are going to do or it's really bad news. You ever get that feeling? Surprises are suppose to be just that, surprises! You do them out of the blue with no warning so that the person is totally surprised. You don't tell them ahead of time so they can wonder and worry about what is going to happen now. You just don't. Oh by the way, "I have a surprise for you"...

Things I dislike about myself..

1. My weight

2. My depressive states

3. Being single

Can you tell I'm moody?

CD/Radio players bought within a year: 60.00
Blank CDs to make new CDs: 20.00
Hugs and eternal love from kidlet: Priceless

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent - you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius, and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks, and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings, and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if have any past mental problems, you must be viligant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause you irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions, and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are you?
Take the Test to find out.

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Vacation is over....wahhhhhhhhhh!

I got the kidlet back yesterday. It officially ended my week of vacation. I managed to play Bingo four times and saw the Harry Potter movie. Oh, I also went out of town on the 7th and 8th. Yes! I did leave the house...yay me!. Kidlet is happy to be home too. First thing she did was turn on her music and her beloved Smallville. Why do vacations go by sooo fast? Back to work on Monday....sighs.

Catch up time...

I took the kidlet to Oklahoma (Lawton) on June 29th for TWO whole weeks! She is staying with a friend that has known her since birth. This is the first time she's been away from me for two weeks though. Usually, it's only a week. I can't go get her until I get paid again due to gas going up and back cost me darn near 80.00!!! I plan to enjoy my quiet time even if it kills me.

On a more down note, I'm depressed because I'm broke. I have no kidlet around. I can't go anywhere and do anything because I'm broke. I'm whining! Sue me!